Circle of Control/Empowerment

The Circle of Control, along with the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern, is a concept that was introduced by Stephen R. Covey in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” (Covey, 2020). Covey emphasizes the importance of focusing our energy and efforts on areas within our control and influence to develop and nurture personal change. This concept has often been expanded to support anxiety management and empower people to solve problems in a way that they can feel more confident about.

Anxiety is a natural emotion that helps us anticipate and prepare for potential danger, catastrophe, or misfortune. When it becomes excessive, it focuses on the things we cannot control and prevents us from listening to its intention to guide us with our response. When this happens, anxiety takes the control away from you and you give up your power. For example, let's say you feel anxious about paying rent next month due to your employment unexpectedly being terminated. You notice many negative thoughts flooding your brain around the worst-case scenario (i.e. "I'll be homeless next month, I will never find another job, my credit will be ruined, I won't get another apartment ever, my life is over, etc.) and every possible barrier pops into your head, preventing you from seeing any possibilities. You may experience physical symptoms such as tension in your body, stomach distress, shortness of breath, headaches, etc. You feel powerless...because your anxiety has taken all of your power by keeping you in a dysfunctional mode that will not result in progress. You may just take the route of manifesting the catastrophe, thereby reinforcing the thought that you are powerless and bad things happen to you. Anxiety won.

What happens when you are able to listen to it and focus your attention and energy on what you CAN control? You take your power back. It is only then that you are able to support your emotional regulation to make space for cognitive processing (thinking, problem-solving). Once regulated, you can for look for possibilities, gather information for next steps, brainstorm many options of small steps that can help you move forward. It is only then that you invite in more possibilities by asking more questions, get curious about options that you do not yet know about, and seek out support and help when needed. The best part? You can prevent the catastrophe or at least suffer much less on the way. You won.

If you are able to sit with the anxiety and feel the experience of it without changing, avoiding, or numbing it, then you can listen to what its intention is. It is helpful to notice the automatic negative thoughts and not avoid or ignore them. Take your power back. A quick exercise to practice sitting with the emotion: Sit with the feeling for 90 seconds without changing it, avoiding it, or numbing from it. Follow by doing 90 seconds of grounding, get present in your environment by bringing awareness to your five senses. Then see if you can notice what the anxiety is trying to communicate to you. Take your power from the anxiety and decide what you want to do with it or if you want to do anything with it at all. You choose. You can influence the results and things outside of your control by focusing on you, your power, and allowing it to impact everything/everyone around you.